Bad news for parents who post every moment of their child’s life online: psychologists are sounding the alarm ‘It’s my kid, my choice’ – a story that splits families and friendships

The notification pings at 2:47 AM. Sarah rolls over, squinting at her phone screen. Her sister has posted another video of her 4-year-old nephew having a meltdown in Target, complete with crying sounds and the caption “When someone says no to Lucky Charms 😂 #momlife #toddlerproblems.” The comments are already rolling in – heart emojis, laughing faces, and strangers offering parenting advice.

Sarah stares at the screen, feeling that familiar knot in her stomach. Yesterday, her nephew asked her why “everyone knows about my accidents.” He’s four years old, and already aware that his most vulnerable moments are entertainment for hundreds of people online.

Welcome to the world of sharenting children online – where family dinners turn into battlegrounds and childhood privacy has become a luxury few kids can afford.

What Sharenting Really Means for Families Today

Sharenting children online isn’t just about posting cute baby photos anymore. It’s evolved into something much bigger – and much more concerning. Parents are sharing intimate details about their children’s lives, from potty training struggles to school problems, often without considering the long-term impact.

Dr. Michelle Garrison, a child psychologist specializing in digital wellness, puts it bluntly: “We’re seeing parents treat their children’s lives like content creation. Every tantrum becomes a story, every milestone becomes a post. The child’s right to privacy is completely forgotten.”

The numbers tell a troubling story. Recent research shows that 92% of American children have an online presence before their second birthday. Many kids have their birth announcements, first steps, and embarrassing moments documented for public consumption before they can even speak.

But it’s not just about the posts themselves. Sharenting children online is tearing families apart in unexpected ways. Siblings disagree about boundaries. Grandparents feel caught in the middle. Extended family members find themselves choosing sides over something that seems as simple as sharing photos.

The Real Cost of Living in Public

The psychological impact on children is becoming clearer every day. Kids as young as five are asking their parents to stop posting about them. Teenagers are begging family members to delete old photos. Some are even changing their names on social media to avoid being found.

Consider what sharenting children online actually creates:

  • Permanent digital footprints that follow children into adulthood
  • Privacy violations that children cannot consent to
  • Potential safety risks from sharing location and routine information
  • Embarrassment and social anxiety when peers discover old posts
  • Family conflicts that can last for years
  • Trust issues between children and parents

Dr. James Harrison, who studies family dynamics in the digital age, explains: “Children are developing their sense of self while knowing that their most private moments might become public entertainment. It’s creating a generation of kids who don’t understand what privacy means.”

Age Group Most Common Sharenting Content Potential Long-term Impact
0-2 years Bath photos, feeding videos, diaper changes Safety concerns, inappropriate content exposure
3-7 years Tantrums, potty training, school struggles Social embarrassment, bullying material
8-12 years Academic performance, friend conflicts, body changes Privacy violations, relationship difficulties
13+ years Continued posting despite child’s objections Trust breakdown, family conflict

When Families Split Over Sharenting

The “it’s my kid, my choice” argument is becoming a weapon that destroys relationships. Parents feel attacked when relatives express concerns. Family gatherings become tense when someone suggests maybe not everything needs to be shared.

Linda Thompson learned this the hard way. When she gently asked her daughter-in-law to consider not posting videos of her grandson’s speech therapy sessions, the response was immediate and harsh. “You raised your kids your way, I’ll raise mine my way,” came the reply. Six months later, they still barely speak.

The conflict patterns are becoming predictable. One family member expresses concern about sharenting children online. The parent becomes defensive, interpreting any criticism as an attack on their parenting. Other family members are forced to choose sides. What started as a conversation about privacy ends up as a family feud.

Child development expert Dr. Rebecca Martinez sees this regularly in her practice: “Parents are so invested in the positive feedback they get from sharing that they can’t hear legitimate concerns. They’ve made their child’s online presence part of their identity as a parent.”

The most heartbreaking cases involve children who start asking their parents to stop. When a 7-year-old says “please don’t put that video on Facebook,” and the parent does it anyway, something fundamental breaks in the relationship.

Finding a Way Forward

Some families are finding middle ground. They’re creating private family groups instead of public posts. They’re asking children’s permission before sharing anything. They’re having honest conversations about digital footprints and consent.

The key seems to be recognizing that sharenting children online affects everyone – not just the parent making the post. Children have rights too, even if they’re too young to understand them fully. Extended family members have legitimate concerns about safety and privacy.

Dr. Sarah Kim, who counsels families dealing with social media conflicts, suggests: “Before you post, ask yourself: How would I feel if someone shared this about me when I was vulnerable? Will my child thank me for this in ten years? Am I sharing this for them or for me?”

The conversation about sharenting children online isn’t going away. As the first generation of heavily documented kids grows up, we’re starting to see the real consequences. Some are grateful for the documentation. Others feel violated and exploited.

What’s clear is that the “my kid, my choice” mentality is too simple for such a complex issue. Children are individuals with rights to privacy and dignity. Families are complex systems where one person’s choices affect everyone else.

The most successful families seem to be those who can have honest conversations about boundaries without taking things personally. They recognize that questioning sharenting practices isn’t questioning parenting abilities – it’s caring about the child’s wellbeing and future.

FAQs

What exactly is sharenting?
Sharenting is when parents share content about their children on social media, often including personal details, photos, and stories about their kids’ lives.

Is sharing some photos of my kids really that harmful?
Occasional photos aren’t the issue – it’s the constant documentation of private moments, embarrassing situations, and personal struggles that concerns psychologists.

How can I talk to a family member about their sharenting without starting a fight?
Focus on specific safety or privacy concerns rather than making general judgments about their parenting choices.

What age should children be before I ask their permission to post?
Child development experts suggest starting these conversations around age 5-6, when children can begin to understand the concept of privacy.

Can sharenting actually put children in danger?
Yes, sharing location information, routines, school details, and personal information can create safety risks from strangers online.

How do I handle it if my child asks me to stop posting about them?
Take their request seriously and have an honest conversation about why it matters to them – their feelings about their own privacy are valid.

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